Topic（題目）：
In twenty years, There will be fewer cars in use than there are today.
Target text（文章正文）:
Two decays only accounts for a short period duiring the long process of human evolution, but it is surely long enough to bring significant change to human civilization. In my opinion, we are likely to see fewer cars in use in twenty years than there are today.【粗心了 基本語法問題 好好檢查自己避免】
With more and more lands being exploited and used to be built highrises and shopping centers on, and along with the continuously growing population, it is less likely to provide cars with sufficient highways or roads to drive on. People will be more willing to take public transportation than to drive a private cars associated with constant traffic jams. As the demand for cars decline, so does the supply. 【英式表達(dá)習(xí)慣 你還沒有培養(yǎng)起來 感覺就是從中文到英語逐字翻譯 其實不是的 中英對照的時候 你是想想漢語意思 然后再找對應(yīng)的句型表達(dá) 而不是一個詞組一個詞組對應(yīng) 要不就顯得不地道】
作文培訓(xùn)，就來蘇州易優(yōu)作文 http://www.zequeka.cn/miniForm.html
An additional factor should also be taken into consideration, which is the morden technology. Governments worldwide are determined to invest more money and more human resources to replace cars because of their failure to carry the large number of people. 【表達(dá)太chinglish中式了】 For example, many new means of pulic transportation have come into existence since the 21st century, and this process of investment has been acclerated 【粗心了 基本語拼寫問題 好好檢查自己避免】over the last ten years. Therefore, there is no doubt that we will witness a variety of new means of transportation rather than cars in the next two decades. 【英式表達(dá)習(xí)慣你還沒有培養(yǎng)起來 感覺就是從中文到英語逐字翻譯 其實不是的 中英對照的時候 你是想想漢語意思 然后再找對應(yīng)的句型表達(dá) 而不是一個詞組一個詞組對應(yīng) 要不就顯得不地道】
Whats more, if we assume that we will see euqal or larger quntity of cars in the future, what will our earth look like with so much pollution cars are making?【刪掉】 Greenhouse effects will cause more catastrophies, 【粗心了 基本語拼寫問題 好好檢查自己避免】 and people's health will be put in much more serious condition. As the term goes "sustainable development" the number cars should and will undergo an obvious decrease in the near future.【論證方面不是特別擅長 真的需要加強 方法 舉例 解釋說理 對比 每段采用一個 然后流線型繞啊繞 其實就是那么回事】 蘇州語文閱讀寫作培訓(xùn)課程推薦，<a http://www.zequeka.cn/miniform/type_1.html>蘇州中小學(xué)語文閱讀寫作培訓(xùn)</a>
In conclusion, it is a historical trend that there will be fewer cars in the next twenty years. Cars will definitely be replaced by all the new means of transportatin.
TPO小站綜合點評及批改意見：
基本功不是很好，行文結(jié)構(gòu)還可以;邏輯不是很縝密，表現(xiàn)在全篇分論點思路不是展很開，論證時候深度不夠，方法也比較單一;表達(dá)詞不達(dá)意時候也多，多樣性表達(dá) 出彩的地方不是特別多，建議多看語法書;多識記，多借鑒。
預(yù)估分?jǐn)?shù)：12
學(xué)習(xí)建議：
1、學(xué)習(xí)議論文篇章結(jié)構(gòu)和框架。議論文中一段一個主觀點。主觀點必須寫在段落的第一句話，這句話稱為主旨句。在議論文中，每個段落只論證其中一個方面。
2、每個段落主旨只有一個，但是其后的支持論據(jù)可以排列幾個，并要用完整句子回答
