一、避免使用語(yǔ)意弱的“be”動(dòng)詞。
1、把句中的表語(yǔ)轉(zhuǎn)換為不同的修飾語(yǔ)。例如:
Weak: The trees are bare. The grass is brown. The landscape seems drab. Revision:The brown grass and bare trees form a drab landscape. (轉(zhuǎn)換為前置定語(yǔ))
Or: The landscape, bare and brown, begged for spring green. (轉(zhuǎn)換為并列結(jié)構(gòu)作后置定語(yǔ))
2、將作表語(yǔ)用的形容詞或名詞變?yōu)樾袨閯?dòng)詞。例如:
1)
Weak: The team members are good players.
Revision: The team members play well.
2)
Weak: One worker's plan is the elimination of tardiness.
Revision: One worker's plan eliminates tardiness.
3、在以“here”或“there”開頭的句子中,把“be”動(dòng)詞后的名詞代詞變成改寫句的主語(yǔ)。例如: 中小學(xué)生作文投稿,中小學(xué)生作文點(diǎn)評(píng)與打分系統(tǒng),<a href=http://www.zequeka.cn/jiaOshoulanmu/>易優(yōu)作文批改</A>
1)
Weak: There is no opportunity for promotion.
Revision: No opportunity for promotion exists.
2)
Weak: Here are the books you ordered.
Revision: The books you ordered have arrived.
二、多用語(yǔ)意具體的動(dòng)詞,保持句意簡(jiǎn)潔明了。例如:
1、
Poor: My supervisor went past my desk.
Better: My supervisor sauntered (=walked slowly) past my desk.
2、
Poor: She is a careful shopper.
Better: She compares prices and quality.