劍橋雅思 10 Test1給我們提供了一篇3.5分的小作文，為此特發(fā)此文，提供一篇質(zhì)量高一些的文章，希望能給想要拿高分的鴨鴨一些有價(jià)值的參考。尤其是在語(yǔ)言多樣性和信息連接性方面。
(p.s.為了閱讀此文便利，特意將漢語(yǔ)版陳列如下，同時(shí)也讓鴨鴨們感受漢語(yǔ)和英語(yǔ)之間的轉(zhuǎn)化過(guò)程。)
這兩個(gè)餅狀圖顯示了能源在澳大利亞家用和溫室氣體排放的信息。
The two pie charts illustrate statistical information respectively regarding how energy is used in an average Australian household and the greenhouse gas emissions that result from these energy uses.
我們先來(lái)談?wù)劙拇罄麃喌哪茉词褂们闆r。heating占據(jù)了整體的能源消耗的最大比例，42%。而the figure for water heating也占據(jù)了一個(gè)大的比例，僅比heating低那么一點(diǎn)，30%。相比之下，refrigeration，lighting，cooling只占了比較小的一部分比重，分別占據(jù)7%， 4%和只有2%。之后，剩下的15%的能源消耗是用在其他家電上的。
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First let us talk about the energy consumption of household facilities in Australia. Heating possesses the largest proportion of total energy usage in family unit, accounting for 42%, followed by the figure for water heating which also occupies a large percentage with 30%. In contrast, the data for refrigeration，lighting，cooling are much less significant, 7%, 4% and only 2% respectively. Finally, the remaining 15% of the consumption is used on other appliances.
再看看以上提到的這些家電的溫室氣體排放情況，與上圖存在很大不同。首先，能耗最大的heating在溫室氣體排放方面略有遜色，以15%的比重排在第三。而最多的溫室氣體排放來(lái)自于water heating，32%。 相比之下，refrigeration，lighting，cooling的溫室氣體排放量幾乎都是它們的能源使用量的兩倍。其他家電所產(chǎn)生的CO2，占據(jù)了剩下的28%。
As for the situation of greenhouse gas emissions from the appliances mentioned above, it largely differs from the last pie. First, heating, which consumes the greatest amount of energy, shows a smaller share in greenhouse gas emission, listed in the third place with a proportion of 15%, while the biggest share of emissions is from water heating (32%). By comparison, proportions of greenhouse gas emissions in refrigeration, lighting and cooling almost double their figures for energy use. CO2 derived from other appliances consist of the remaining 28%. 蘇州小學(xué)生語(yǔ)文培訓(xùn)，（TEl:181-1815-9898）蘇州易優(yōu)閱讀寫(xiě)作同步提升
根據(jù)這兩個(gè)餅狀圖，heating是最為環(huán)保的家電，而water heating不僅能耗大，CO2的排放量也相當(dāng)大。refrigeration和lighting雖然能耗比較小，但是溫室氣體的排放量也比較大。
Overall, it is noticeable that heating is the most environmentally friendly appliance while water hearing not only consumes more energy sources but also give out the most carbon dioxide. Meanwhile, although refrigeration and lighting consume less, they emit more as well.
TIPs：文章的語(yǔ)言的多樣性取決于主語(yǔ)的多樣性和靈活性，該篇所用主語(yǔ)的形式如下：
1. Heating——題目中所給的名詞
2. the data for refrigeration，lighting，cooling——“數(shù)據(jù)”作主語(yǔ)
3. the remaining 15%——數(shù)字作主語(yǔ)
4. the biggest share/proportions of greenhouse gas emissions——比重詞作主語(yǔ)
蘇州小學(xué)生語(yǔ)文培訓(xùn)，（TEl:181-1815-9898）蘇州易優(yōu)閱讀寫(xiě)作同步提升
5. CO2——題目中g(shù)reenhouse gas的同義改寫(xiě)作主語(yǔ)
6. they——代詞作主語(yǔ)
信息之間的鏈接，請(qǐng)參看文章中的標(biāo)注
希望此文能讓更多鴨鴨們找到雅思小作文的寫(xiě)作思路和寫(xiě)作靈?
