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易優(yōu)作文網(wǎng)——中考英語(yǔ)滿分作文解析(4)

中考英語(yǔ)滿分作文解析(4)


易優(yōu)英語(yǔ) 

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減負(fù)之后,同學(xué)們有了更多的課余時(shí)間。某校英語(yǔ)角就“如何讓課余生活更有意義?”展開(kāi)了討論,大家各抒己見(jiàn)。請(qǐng)你根據(jù)下圖提示,以“How To Make Our Spare Time More Meaningful?”為題,用英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)一篇短文。 作文網(wǎng)推薦,<a http://www.zequeka.cn>易優(yōu)作文網(wǎng)</a>,中小學(xué)生學(xué)語(yǔ)文閱讀寫(xiě)作的好幫手

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注意:(1) 短文應(yīng)包括所給內(nèi)容要點(diǎn),可適當(dāng)發(fā)揮,使文章連貫;

      (2) 詞數(shù)90左右,短文開(kāi)頭已給出,不計(jì)入總詞數(shù);

      (3) 短文中不得出現(xiàn)考生的真實(shí)姓名、校名等信息;

      (4) 參考詞匯:提升素養(yǎng)promote literacy。

How to Make Our Spare Time More Meaningful?

Nowadays, we students have much more spare time than ever before, but how to make our spare time more meaningful?

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

做法類的作文主要是針對(duì)某要求提出具體行動(dòng)做法。 本文屬于材料作文,要表達(dá)如何讓課外生活更有意義,因此文體為說(shuō)明文。作文的主題是如何讓課外生活更有意義?”,話題貼近學(xué)生生活,關(guān)注學(xué)生的人文素養(yǎng),容易與學(xué)生產(chǎn)生共鳴,難度適中,根據(jù)要表達(dá)的內(nèi)容確定并準(zhǔn)確運(yùn)用時(shí)態(tài),上下文意思連貫,符合邏輯,可適當(dāng)增加內(nèi)容。

 

 

How to Make Our Spare Time More Meaningful?

Nowadays we students have much more spare time than ever before, but how to make our spare time more meaningful?

My schoolmates give the following suggestions. First, it's good to help our parents do some housework to show our love for them. Second, we will know more about the world by reading. Third, it is a good chance for us to get close to nature and relax ourselves.

In my opinion, we can do some sports to make us stronger and healthier. What's more, we can take an active part in some social activities as volunteers to help those in need.

In a word, let's make full use of our spare time and promote our literacy.

【名師點(diǎn)評(píng)】

中考英語(yǔ)作文要求提出“如何讓課余生活更有意義?”法,可分四段來(lái)寫(xiě),第一段表明觀點(diǎn),第二段和第三段分別闡述別人提出的做法和自己的建議,第段總結(jié)全文。寫(xiě)作時(shí)主要使用一般現(xiàn)在時(shí),以第一人稱為主。根據(jù)題目中的圖表結(jié)構(gòu)提示可知,這篇作文的主要做法有五點(diǎn):其中已給出三點(diǎn)即幫助父母表達(dá)愛(ài)心;閱讀書(shū)籍了解世界,親近自然放松自己”,另外兩點(diǎn)具體的建議要求學(xué)生自己發(fā)揮,因此選擇恰當(dāng)?shù)乃夭囊彩鞘苟涛闹行耐怀?、明確的關(guān)鍵。最后需要總結(jié)全文,點(diǎn)明主旨,提升文化素養(yǎng)。在寫(xiě)作的過(guò)程中我們要注意句子的準(zhǔn)確性、連貫性以及簡(jiǎn)潔性。使用的詞語(yǔ)、短語(yǔ)及句型盡量用自己有把握的詞。同時(shí)還要注意使用恰當(dāng)?shù)倪B詞,使句子銜接自然。

寫(xiě)完之后可以進(jìn)行修改潤(rùn)色。修改潤(rùn)色是獲取高分的必要步驟。這一步我們除了檢查短文的各種錯(cuò)誤外,還要檢查語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)是否合理,有無(wú)重復(fù)、啰嗦的語(yǔ)言,大小寫(xiě)是否正確,格式是否正確,詞數(shù)是否符合要求等。

寫(xiě)作亮點(diǎn)

是一篇優(yōu)秀的作文,很好地完成了試題規(guī)定的任務(wù),語(yǔ)言表達(dá)符合英語(yǔ)習(xí)慣,準(zhǔn)確運(yùn)用時(shí)態(tài)、主謂一致等,結(jié)構(gòu)清晰,第一段開(kāi)門(mén)見(jiàn)山提出課余時(shí)間較多,如何讓課余生活更有意義?第二段介紹了同學(xué)們給出三點(diǎn)建議,運(yùn)用副詞first,second,third,使得層次清楚,結(jié)構(gòu)完整。第三段表達(dá)自己的兩點(diǎn)建議,多做運(yùn)動(dòng)和參加志愿者活動(dòng)。第四段,結(jié)尾總結(jié)全文,升華主題,要充分利用課余時(shí)間,提高人文素養(yǎng)。本文使用一些亮點(diǎn)詞句,如a good chance to do, get close to, in my opinion, whats more, take an active part in, in a word, make full use of, spare time以及“比較級(jí)and比較級(jí)”等,增強(qiáng)邏輯關(guān)系,增加上下文意思連貫,用詞準(zhǔn)確,句子通順,行文連貫。

 

例題

 

積極鍛煉是非常重要的,為此,某英文報(bào)開(kāi)展了一次關(guān)于初中生段煉情況的調(diào)查活動(dòng).請(qǐng)你根據(jù)下列圖表和相關(guān)文字提示,以"Exercising is important!"為題,用英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)一篇短文.

要點(diǎn)

具體內(nèi)容

調(diào)查數(shù)據(jù)


 

鍛煉的意義

有益身體健康;保持思維敏銳;變得自信快樂(lè).

你的建議

就如何更好地開(kāi)展鍛煉,提出你的建議(至少兩點(diǎn)).

注意:(1)短文應(yīng)包括所給內(nèi)容要點(diǎn),可適當(dāng)發(fā)揮,使文章連貫;

           2)詞數(shù)90左右,短文開(kāi)頭已給出,不計(jì)入總詞數(shù);

           3)短文中不得提及考生所在學(xué)校及自己的姓名等信息.

           4)參考詞匯:敏銳的sharp

Exercising is important!

Recently,we have done a survey about students' exercising. __________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

中考英語(yǔ)作文為圖表作文,話題是Exercising is important!。今年中考英語(yǔ)作文題目延續(xù)了以往的以人為本,關(guān)注學(xué)生健康成長(zhǎng)?,F(xiàn)在學(xué)生鍛煉的時(shí)間比較少,這次作文反映了社會(huì)熱點(diǎn)問(wèn)題,呼吁學(xué)生積極鍛煉。本文是圖表類作文,要求學(xué)生能仔細(xì)觀察圖表并對(duì)于如何開(kāi)展鍛煉提出自己的建議,難度較高。

 

Exercising is important!

Recently,we have done a survey about students exercising. According to the survey, 32% of the students spend over one hour every day doing exercise, while 68% of them spend less than one hour.The reasons are as follows:Firstly, 46% of them have too much homework, so they have no time to do exercise. Secondly, 29% of them are not good at exercise. Thirdly, 25% of them are not interested in it.

As we all know, exercising is good for our health, which keeps our minds sharp and makes us confident and happy.

In my opinion, we should keep a balance between our study and exercising. Besides, we should develop a good habit of doing exercise. 

【名師點(diǎn)評(píng)】

這是一篇圖表作文,圖標(biāo)類作文的文體通常為議論文、應(yīng)用文和說(shuō)明文。根據(jù)圖標(biāo)內(nèi)容提示可知本文調(diào)查了初中生的鍛煉情況,并要求提出自己的建議,故文體為議論文。在寫(xiě)作前一定要認(rèn)真審題。在寫(xiě)作時(shí)要做到以下幾點(diǎn):(1)要認(rèn)真解讀圖表,切勿流漏重要信息數(shù)據(jù)信息和細(xì)節(jié)提示,不必每個(gè)數(shù)據(jù)都涉及,但重要數(shù)據(jù)必須提到。  2)對(duì)圖表中的內(nèi)容分析、數(shù)據(jù)說(shuō)明定要簡(jiǎn)明提要,盡量使用簡(jiǎn)單句,因?yàn)閺?fù)雜的句式往往起不到清晰表達(dá)的效果,這有悖于圖表作文的考查目的。 3)結(jié)論性的表達(dá)要按部就班地從圖表信息分析或數(shù)據(jù)歸納而來(lái),這樣才能使語(yǔ)言有說(shuō)服力,切忌主觀判斷,更不能主觀臆造,避免“I thinkbelieve....."等類似句式。(4)結(jié)合實(shí)際生活,提出自己的建議。同時(shí)還應(yīng)該注意,書(shū)寫(xiě)要規(guī)范,包括大小寫(xiě)、標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號(hào)等。寫(xiě)作之后要認(rèn)真檢査,改正錯(cuò)誤。      

寫(xiě)作亮點(diǎn)

      這是一篇優(yōu)秀的作文,本文能認(rèn)真分析圖表數(shù)據(jù),要點(diǎn)齊全,結(jié)構(gòu)清晰,并能適當(dāng)發(fā)揮給出自己的建議。本文采用第一人稱,時(shí)態(tài)為一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)。能根據(jù)常用的圖表作文的三段式結(jié)構(gòu)展開(kāi)寫(xiě)作,思路清晰,結(jié)構(gòu)完整。第一段分析圖表的數(shù)據(jù)變化反映出來(lái)的問(wèn)題,簡(jiǎn)要概括圖標(biāo)所揭示的信息,32%的學(xué)生每天鍛煉少于1小時(shí),68% 的學(xué)生多于1小時(shí)。According to the survey, 32% of the students spend over one hour every day doing exercise, while 68% of them spend less than one hour.”接著根據(jù)第二個(gè)圖表,分析了背后的三點(diǎn)原因“The reasons are as follows...作者運(yùn)用Firstly,Secondly,Thirdly來(lái)表明原因,條理清楚。 第二段強(qiáng)調(diào)了鍛煉的意義,有益身體健康;保持思維敏銳;變得自信快樂(lè)。能根據(jù)要點(diǎn)提示用英文描述,句式運(yùn)用了which引導(dǎo)的非限定性定語(yǔ)從句,表達(dá)準(zhǔn)確。第三段鍛煉的兩個(gè)建議。 In my opinion, we should...Beside...句式簡(jiǎn)潔,表達(dá)清晰。

例題

 

青少年是祖國(guó)的未來(lái),也是城市的名片.在創(chuàng)建全國(guó)文明城市的過(guò)程中,我市舉辦了"美德少年"評(píng)選活動(dòng).假如你是"美德少年"的爭(zhēng)創(chuàng)者,請(qǐng)根據(jù)下列表格中的提示,以"Be a virtue teenager,build a civilized city"為題,用英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)一份倡議書(shū),號(hào)召大家積極爭(zhēng)做"美德少年",為港城添彩.

主題

"美德少年",創(chuàng)文明城市

內(nèi)容

待人方面:尊老愛(ài)幼,友好互助

言談方面:語(yǔ)言文明,耐心傾聽(tīng)

出行方面:遵守交規(guī),主動(dòng)禮讓

你的觀點(diǎn)

聯(lián)系實(shí)際,談?wù)勀愕挠^點(diǎn)(至少兩點(diǎn))

注意:90詞左右.短文標(biāo)題和開(kāi)頭已給出,不計(jì)入總詞數(shù).

文中不得提及有關(guān)考生的個(gè)人的身份的任何信息,如:校名,人名等.

Be a virtue teenager, build a civilized city

   Being a teenager of Lianyungang, what should we do to help build a civilized city?

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

中考英語(yǔ)作文(Be a virtue teenager,build a civilived city)是以“做‘美德少年’,創(chuàng)文明城市”為主題的倡議書(shū),號(hào)召大家積極爭(zhēng)做“美德少年”,為港城添彩。選材貼近生活,體現(xiàn)人文性,注重學(xué)生道德素養(yǎng),關(guān)注學(xué)生身心健康,要求學(xué)生要有責(zé)任感,為城市發(fā)展做出貢獻(xiàn),具有時(shí)代感。本文要求學(xué)生能?chē)@表格中提示信息,轉(zhuǎn)換成英語(yǔ)進(jìn)行表達(dá),并根據(jù)自己的實(shí)際適當(dāng)發(fā)揮,難度一般。

 

Be a virtue teenager, build a civilized city

   Being a teenager of Lianyungang, what should we do to help build a civilized city?

 Firstly, when in public places, we should respect the elderly and take care of the young. We should also be friendly and helpful to others. Secondly, when having a conversation, we should speak politely and be patient enough to listen; Thirdly, when on the road, we should obey the traffic rules and give seats when necessary.

As s junior students, I think it's our duty to do as the above. At the same time, we should try our best to study hard and obey all the school rules. In this way, we can be a virtue teenager and help to build our city into a civilized one. I hope everyone will join us and try to be a virtue teenager.

【名師點(diǎn)評(píng)】

這是一篇圖表作文,文體為議論文,給出了一些漢語(yǔ)提示內(nèi)容。這就要求學(xué)生能根據(jù)提示用正確的英語(yǔ)把要點(diǎn)表達(dá)出來(lái),并適當(dāng)發(fā)揮想象。寫(xiě)作前要認(rèn)真閱讀所給的漢語(yǔ)提示,弄清這個(gè)題目要表達(dá)的內(nèi)容,不要遺漏要點(diǎn)。對(duì)所給信息進(jìn)行整理,按照自己的寫(xiě)作思路使其條理清楚。根據(jù)提示內(nèi)容可知本文主要是用一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)來(lái)寫(xiě)。另外在寫(xiě)作過(guò)程中,要確保語(yǔ)言精煉,不要按照信息點(diǎn)去逐句翻譯。用自己熟悉的短語(yǔ)和句型去體現(xiàn)要點(diǎn),掌握好文章的長(zhǎng)度,注意字?jǐn)?shù)要求為90詞左右。最后要根據(jù)要求聯(lián)系實(shí)際,寫(xiě)出自己的觀點(diǎn),要符合文章主旨,不要脫離主題,胡編亂造。寫(xiě)作時(shí)注意準(zhǔn)確運(yùn)用時(shí)態(tài),上下文意思連貫,符合邏輯關(guān)系。

【寫(xiě)作亮點(diǎn)】

這是一篇比較優(yōu)秀的作文,本文很好地寫(xiě)出試題的內(nèi)容提示,包含所有內(nèi)容要點(diǎn);語(yǔ)言表達(dá)要符合英語(yǔ)習(xí)慣,準(zhǔn)確運(yùn)用時(shí)態(tài),上下文意思連貫,用詞準(zhǔn)確、句子通順、行文連貫。首先引出下文如何建造文明港城,接著第二段詳細(xì)介紹了在待人、言談、出行三個(gè)方面的做法,運(yùn)用 Firstly,Secondly,Thirdly三個(gè)副詞,使第二段層次清楚。第三段,表明了自己的觀點(diǎn),As s junior students, I think it's our duty to do as the above。創(chuàng)文明城市是我們的義務(wù),體現(xiàn)了作為主人翁的去貢獻(xiàn)自己的力量,從自身做起。本文采用三段式,結(jié)構(gòu)清楚,其中也有很多好的短語(yǔ)值得學(xué)生們學(xué)習(xí),比如take care of 照顧,be friendly to對(duì)某人友好,obey the traffic rules 遵守交通規(guī)則, give seats讓座。這些短語(yǔ)準(zhǔn)確地表達(dá)了題目中漢語(yǔ)提示內(nèi)容,使文章表達(dá)清楚,語(yǔ)言簡(jiǎn)潔生動(dòng)。

 



《中考英語(yǔ)滿分作文解析(4)》添加時(shí)間:2025-01-13;更新時(shí)間:2025-06-19



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