Time is running out for my friend. While we are sitting at lunch, she casually1 mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family." What she means is that her biological clock has begun its countdown, and she is being forced to consider the prospect2 of motherhood.
"We're taking a survey," she says, half joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"
"It will change your life," I say carefully, keeping my tone neutral.
"I know," she says. "No more sleeping in on Saturdays, no more spontaneous vacations......"
But that is not what I mean at all. I try to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes: that the physical wounds of childbearing heal, but that becoming a mother will leave an emotional wound so raw that she will be forever vulnerable. I consider warning her that she will never read a newspaper again without asking, "What if that had been my child?" That every plane crash, every fire, will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die. <a hReF=http://www.zequeka.cn/miNiform.html>蘇州作文培訓(xùn)哪里好</a>
I look at her manicured nails and stylish3 suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive4 level of a bear protecting her cub5. That an urgent call of "Mommy!" will cause her to drop her best crystal without a moment's hesitation6.
I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting, and she will think about her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her child is all right.
I want my friend to know that everyday decisions will no longer be routine. That a 5-year-old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at a restaurant will become a major dilemma7. That issues of independence and gender8 identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester9 may be lurking10 in the rest room. However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother. <a hRef=http://www.zequeka.cn/miNifoRm.html>蘇州小學(xué)生作文培訓(xùn)</a>
Looking at my attractive friend, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy11, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years -- not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish his.
My friend's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is always careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his son or daughter. I think she should know that she will fall in love with her husband again for reasons she now finds very unromantic.
I want to describe to my friend the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to hit a baseball. I want to capture for her the belly12 laugh of a baby who is touching13 the soft fur of a dog for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it hurts. <a Href=http://www.zequeka.cn/minifoRm.html>蘇州作文輔導(dǎo)班</a>
My friend's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I say finally. Then, squeezing my friend's hand, I offer a prayer for her and for me and all the mere14 mortal women who stumble their way into this holiest of callings.
1 casually
adv.漠不關(guān)心地，無動于衷地，不負(fù)責(zé)任地
參考例句：
She remarked casually that she was changing her job.她當(dāng)時(shí)漫不經(jīng)心地說要換工作。 I casually mentioned that I might be interested in working abroad.我不經(jīng)意地提到我可能會對出國工作感興趣。
2 prospect
n.前景，前途；景色，視野
參考例句：
This state of things holds out a cheerful prospect.事態(tài)呈現(xiàn)出可喜的前景。 The prospect became more evident.前景變得更加明朗了。
3 stylish
adj.流行的，時(shí)髦的；漂亮的，氣派的
參考例句：
He's a stylish dresser.他是個(gè)穿著很有格調(diào)的人。 What stylish women are wearing in Paris will be worn by women all over the world.巴黎女性時(shí)裝往往會引導(dǎo)世界時(shí)裝潮流。
4 primitive
adj.原始的；簡單的；n.原(始)人，原始事物
參考例句：
It is a primitive instinct to flee a place of danger.逃離危險(xiǎn)的地方是一種原始本能。 His book describes the march of the civilization of a primitive society.他的著作描述了一個(gè)原始社會的開化過程。
5 cub
n.幼獸，年輕無經(jīng)驗(yàn)的人
參考例句：
The lion cub's mother was hunting for what she needs. 這只幼師的母親正在捕獵。 The cub licked the milk from its mother's breast. 這頭幼獸吸吮著它媽媽的奶水。
6 hesitation
n.猶豫，躊躇
參考例句：
After a long hesitation, he told the truth at last.躊躇了半天，他終于直說了。 There was a certain hesitation in her manner.她的態(tài)度有些猶豫不決。
7 dilemma
n.困境，進(jìn)退兩難的局面
參考例句：
I am on the horns of a dilemma about the matter.這件事使我進(jìn)退兩難。 He was thrown into a dilemma.他陷入困境。
8 gender
n.（生理上的）性，（名詞、代詞等的）性
參考例句：
French differs from English in having gender for all nouns.法語不同于英語，所有的名詞都有性。 Women are sometimes denied opportunities solely because of their gender.婦女有時(shí)僅僅因?yàn)樾詣e而無法獲得種種機(jī)會。
9 molester
參考例句：
A nationwide manhunt for an alleged child molester is over. 一個(gè)全國搜捕騷擾兒童的行動告一段落。 來自互聯(lián)網(wǎng) Did the molester penetrate the child? 這名性騷擾者插進(jìn)小孩的身體了嗎？ 來自互聯(lián)網(wǎng)
10 lurking
潛在
參考例句：
Why are you lurking around outside my house? 你在我房子外面鬼鬼祟祟的，想干什么？ There is a suspicious man lurking in the shadows. 有一可疑的人躲在陰暗中。 來自《現(xiàn)代英漢綜合大詞典》
11 pregnancy
n.懷孕，懷孕期
參考例句：
Early pregnancy is often accompanied by nausea.懷孕早期常有惡心的現(xiàn)象。 Smoking during pregnancy increases the risk of miscarriage.懷孕期吸煙會增加流產(chǎn)的危險(xiǎn)。
12 belly
n.肚子，腹部；(像肚子一樣)鼓起的部分，膛
參考例句：
The boss has a large belly.老板大腹便便。 His eyes are bigger than his belly.他眼饞肚飽。
13 touching
adj.動人的，使人感傷的
參考例句：
It was a touching sight.這是一幅動人的景象。 His letter was touching.他的信很感人。
14 mere
adj.純粹的；僅僅，只不過
參考例句：
That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不過是重復(fù)了你以前講的話。 It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去純粹是浪費(fèi)時(shí)間。
《What Motherhood Really Means》添加時(shí)間：2024-12-14；更新時(shí)間：2025-03-09
