1. "You never do the dishes. You always just leave them sitting there."
The dishes are a placeholder for pretty much anything here. Whatever the issue, using accusatory blanket terms like "never" and "always" tends to end the same way every time: with you and your boo engaged in an overblown argument. Plus, there's a good chance your generalization1 is wrong, said Samantha Rodman, a psychologist in Takoma Park, Maryland.
2. "You sound exactly like your mother."
When arguing, stick to the issue at hand and keep the focus on the two of you. Introducing nasty comparisons to your in-laws is unfair and ultimately a diversion from your problems, said Sharon Gilchrest O'Neill, a marriage and family therapist and the author of A Short Guide to a Happy Marriage.
3. "You think you're better than everyone else!"
Never put words in your partner's mouth or in this case, thoughts in their head. There's no way of knowing what someone is feeling or thinking, so keep the assumptions to yourself, said Becky Whetstone, a marriage and family therapist in Little Rock, Arkansas. <a href=http://www.zequeka.cn/miniform.html>提分快的蘇州初中作文閱讀培訓(xùn)</a>
4. "Do I look like I've put on weight?"
"What you really mean by asking this is, 'I know I've put on weight. I'm unhappy about how I look and I need you to say that you're OK with my current state.'" she said. "These types of questions are all about side-stepping personal responsibility, plus they force your partner into an enabling role," said Robyn Wahlgast, a dating and relationship coach for women.
5. "Have you put on a few pounds?"
Blunt, negative remarks to your spouse2 about his or her appearance are also out of line.
6. "You're a horrible parent, breadwinner, lover..."
Put-downs centered around your spouse's family or occupational roles are particularly cruel, said M. Gary Neuman, a psychotherapist based in Miami Beach, Florida.
7. "Ugh, I hate when you do that." (Said in front of friends or family.)
Putting your spouse down in front of others is a huge no-no in a relationship, said Whetstone.
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8. "I barely know him -- he's just someone I work with."
It's almost inevitable3 that you or your partner will develop a small, innocent crush on someone at some point during your marriage. If that happens, be upfront about it. Don't try to sweep it under the rug with a statement that minimizes your feelings, said Wahlgast.
Though it may be an uncomfortable subject to broach4, ultimately, Wahlgast said being transparent5 about your feelings "will create more openness with your partner. You'll each feel more comfortable bringing up other taboo6 subjects in a kind and respectful way."
9. "You shouldn't feel that way."
There's nothing more belittling7 or condescending8 than telling your spouse what he should or shouldn't be feeling in any given situation, Rodman said.
10. "Don't wait up for me."
This seemingly innocent remark suggests you're not going to bed at the same time, a habit that can be damaging to your relationship, said Wahlgast.
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1 generalization
n.普遍性，一般性，概括
參考例句：
This sweeping generalization is the law of conservation of energy.這一透徹的概括就是能量守恒定律。 The evaluation of conduct involves some amount of generalization.對(duì)操行的評(píng)價(jià)會(huì)含有一些泛泛之論。
2 spouse
n.配偶(指夫或妻)
參考例句：
Her spouse will come to see her on Sunday.她的丈夫星期天要來(lái)看她。 What is the best way to keep your spouse happy in the marriage?在婚姻中保持配偶幸福的最好方法 是什么？
3 inevitable
adj.不可避免的，必然發(fā)生的
參考例句：
Mary was wearing her inevitable large hat.瑪麗戴著她總是戴的那頂大帽子。 The defeat had inevitable consequences for British policy.戰(zhàn)敗對(duì)英國(guó)政策不可避免地產(chǎn)生了影響。
4 broach
v.開(kāi)瓶，提出(題目)
參考例句：
It's a good chance to broach the subject.這是開(kāi)始提出那個(gè)問(wèn)題的好機(jī)會(huì)。 I thought I'd better broach the matter with my boss.我想我最好還是跟老板說(shuō)一下這事。
5 transparent
adj.明顯的，無(wú)疑的；透明的
參考例句：
The water is so transparent that we can see the fishes swimming.水清澈透明，可以看到魚(yú)兒游來(lái)游去。 The window glass is transparent.窗玻璃是透明的。
6 taboo
n.禁忌，禁止接近，禁止使用；adj.禁忌的；v.禁忌，禁制，禁止
參考例句：
The rude words are taboo in ordinary conversation.這些粗野的字眼在日常談話中是禁忌的。 Is there a taboo against sex before marriage in your society?在你們的社會(huì)里，婚前的性行為犯禁嗎？
7 belittling
使顯得微小，輕視，貶低( belittle的現(xiàn)在分詞 )
參考例句：
We must be realistic in our self-estimation, neither being conceited nor belittling ourselves. 我們對(duì)自己的估計(jì)應(yīng)該實(shí)事求是， 不要自高自大，也不要妄自菲薄。 I find it belittling to be criticized by someone so much younger than me. 有個(gè)比我年輕許多的人批評(píng)了我，我覺(jué)得是小看了我。
8 condescending
adj.謙遜的,故意屈尊的
參考例句：
He has a condescending attitude towards women. 他對(duì)女性總是居高臨下。 He tends to adopt a condescending manner when talking to young women. 和年輕女子說(shuō)話時(shí)，他喜歡擺出一副高高在上的姿態(tài)。
《戀愛(ài)關(guān)系中有些話還是不說(shuō)為好》添加時(shí)間：2024-12-14；更新時(shí)間：2025-03-09
