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Volunteer Work, Harmoniass Would
韓葉
江蘇省張家港市張家港外國語學(xué)校高三3班
Have you ever guided a passenger losing his or her way? Have you ever donate your pocket monkey to strangers suffering disasters? Have you ever kept a homeless ouimal? If your ouswer is “Yes”, then congratulations[*1] you have done volunteer work.
To my mind you do need to exactly join a certain organization form is not important. [*2] Volunteer work means the work we want to do to help others out of our hearts withostconsidering whether [*3] it is renording. To sum up, sympathy, sacrifice passion[*4] and warm hearts make up volunteer work. And volunteer work really makes the world better.
Firstly, as far as individuals are concerned, volunteer work makes them take responsibilities for the society. Nowadays, most families have only one child. And the late 90s are considered to be a settish useless generation.[*5] However, one of my friends says that volunteen work made me[*6] mature. He was one of the volunteers of Beijing Olympic Ganes[*7] . He gained patience, stung will and an open mind through all the tough work. And now he understands that: “One should hever gain without payling.”
蘇州小學(xué)語文提優(yōu)培訓(xùn)，就找易優(yōu)吳老師，20余年輔導(dǎo)經(jīng)驗，數(shù)百成功案例。（TEL:181-1815-9898）
Secondly, to the society it is also signifigant. With volunteer work, people facing difficulties are helped, poor people are financidly asisted, so that the frinction will be reduced and the interpersonal relationships will be improved. How a harmonious society will it be! There is a couple living in Beijing. They began the in volunteer work when they were only college students. They went to a medical center to take care of and play with children there once a week. Neither wind nor snow stopped them. However, one sunday in 2007 they didn't appear. And the reason ness that, the girl got cancer! The bay kept on going to the center on Sunday while taking cane of his girlfriend and working for medical expenses. The doctors ■ses and the childnes were touched deeply. Their story was published and the douation came soon. At the same time, more people went to help children there. In this way, their spirit transferred. Their volursteer work was paid back to them selves, which was hever inagined by them. Their sympathy waked up others'. 蘇州易優(yōu)語文閱讀寫作培訓(xùn)，家長信賴，學(xué)生喜歡。 http://www.zequeka.cn
Laste [*8] I firmly believe that a nation full of helpful respousible people is surely a strong one a world full of spirit of symporthy and devotion is surely a beautiful one. I call on all people to do volunteer work, whatever it is, whatever the form it is in, just do it and we can harvest a harmonious world together!
專家建議：
有一定英語語感，但不是很強，中式英語有時還會出現(xiàn)，建議多讀些英文原著，或看一些優(yōu)秀范文，抓住里面的經(jīng)典句型，自己多多練習(xí)。
專家點評：
專家點評：
文章以及疑問句開頭，步步引出主題，很吸引人。文章結(jié)構(gòu)清晰，語言表達比較準(zhǔn)確，但句式變化不多，有些句子結(jié)構(gòu)不緊湊。
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[*1]這里應(yīng)該用動詞，congratulate,所以改為 congratulate you for doing volunteer work
蘇州小學(xué)生語文培訓(xùn)，（TEl:181-1815-9898）蘇州易優(yōu)閱讀寫作同步提升
[*2]這句話頭重腳輕了，最好寫成 to my mind, it is not important to….
[*3]這里要用whether or not,所以在句尾要加上 or not.
[*4]這里用sacrifice 就表達清楚了，刪掉passion.
Passion 是激情的意思。
[*5]在selfish后面加 and
[*6]你朋友說是讓他成熟，而不是你，所以要改為him
[*7]句型變換，改為，who was one of the…不是更好嗎？
[*8]用 Last but not least 更地道
