中考英語(yǔ)作文寫(xiě)作指導(dǎo)：如何寫(xiě)勵(lì)志故事
素材儲(chǔ)備與寫(xiě)作指導(dǎo)
“勵(lì)志奮斗”的話題在?？技爸锌嫉淖魑闹幸彩菍乙?jiàn)不鮮，“ work hard I never give up”等字眼都是這類(lèi)文章的提示詞。內(nèi)容取材是比較容易的，人人都會(huì)有面對(duì)困難的時(shí)候，而學(xué)生所面臨的困難無(wú)非是學(xué)習(xí)上停滯不前、朋友間存在誤會(huì)、師生間發(fā)生摩擦、與父母意
見(jiàn)不合、生活道理理解不透等等。但是有困難也必定會(huì)有解決辦法，安么是學(xué)生自己領(lǐng)悟，要么是別人施以授手。總之。在結(jié)構(gòu)安排上，最后都會(huì)回歸到克展因難、奮斗排搏的主題上語(yǔ)言方面，在平時(shí)要注意這類(lèi)詞匯表達(dá)的積累。
以下就用一個(gè)具體案例來(lái)分析如何寫(xiě)好類(lèi)似文章。
實(shí)踐案例
題目
Write a composition in at least 60 words on“
給予我力量”的短文，字?jǐn)?shù)不得少于60個(gè)詞。)gave me power". (寫(xiě)一篇題為在你的生活和學(xué)習(xí)中，肯定有過(guò)困難的時(shí)刻。在這樣的時(shí)刻中，是什么給子了你力量，讓你不放棄、不氣餒并且堅(jiān)持不懈地奮斗下去呢?請(qǐng)具體描述這樣的時(shí)刻，講述你如何獲得力量、取得成功。
這篇半命題作文對(duì)審題的能力要求比較高，不仔細(xì)審題很有可能偏離話題、選錯(cuò)題材。從題目上就能看出來(lái)時(shí)態(tài)是過(guò)去時(shí)，再加上“具體描述這樣的時(shí)刻”的要求，就更能確定這篇文章的重點(diǎn)在于描述一件過(guò)去發(fā)生的事情，在這個(gè)事件中要有困難產(chǎn)生、克服困難這樣一個(gè)轉(zhuǎn)折的過(guò)程，因此選材一定要注意選擇態(tài)度積極向 上的話題，將其寫(xiě)成記敘文。然面敘事文章都是以借敘事來(lái)抒情，所以結(jié)尾部分注意要有表決心、話奮斗的勵(lì)志語(yǔ)言。
段落結(jié)構(gòu)
根據(jù)題目要求，可以參考以下結(jié)構(gòu)進(jìn)行寫(xiě)作:
第一部分The 1st part
補(bǔ)充題目，開(kāi)篇點(diǎn)題。
Encouragement / Love / Patience/ Hope ... gave me power when I met with difficulties.
.. once helped me solve problems because it provided me with strong power.
第二部分The2ndpart
描述過(guò)去發(fā)生的一次勵(lì)志經(jīng)歷 。
Once, there was a difficult situation in which I had no idea what to do...When I was at the age of....
1 overcame the difficulties successfully just because .. gave me power.
第三部分The 3rd part
表達(dá)愿望或信心作為總結(jié)，首尾呼應(yīng)。
Because of ....1 am more confident now.
Thanks to the power from .. am not afraid of.. any more.
核心語(yǔ)匯
“disadvantage 1 shortcoming缺點(diǎn)、不足
.my ability to do我做..的能力
be satisfied / pleased with對(duì)......滿(mǎn)意
make up one's mind to do ..下定決心做...
. decide to do ../my decision to do ..決定做....
Be good at do well in擅長(zhǎng)......
make progress in .....方面取得進(jìn)步
make efforts to do ...努力做....
take action to do ...采取行動(dòng)....
further improve ...進(jìn)一步改......
overcome difficulties克服困難
have confidence in ...對(duì)..有信心
thanks to ...多虧.......
cheer ... up鼓舞某人
solve / work out the problem解決問(wèn)題
face / meet with 1 come across the difficulty面對(duì)/遇到困難
difficulties and frustrations困難和挫折
under a lot of pressure在巨大壓力下
參考句型
. .... is a kind of power which pushes me forward. ...是一種能促我前進(jìn)的力量。
... can help me overcome the difficulties.....能幫助我克服困難。
... make it possible/ easier to do ...使做....有可能更容易
.. plays an important role and can give me power....作用重大，能給予我力量。
.. were just like a stream flowing into my heart cleaning up all my pains....
如.股清泉流人我心、 去我所痛。
I believe that the more I try, the better I will be. 我相信我會(huì)越挫越勇。
I will succeed as long as I have a willing heart只要有心，我定成功。
習(xí)作1
My dream gave me power
Life was full of ups and downs, so it is very common for me to meet with some difficulties and frustrations. At such moments, it was dream that gave me power to hang in there instead of giving up.
For example, when I failed in an exam, 1 wouldn't be upset for a long time because my 
dream pushed me forward to make efforts.
Where there is a will,, there is a way. My dream plays an important role in my life and I believe my dream will eventually come true.
點(diǎn)評(píng):
這篇習(xí)作看似文字優(yōu)美，但在內(nèi)容的選擇上不是很恰當(dāng)。文章并沒(méi)有記敘過(guò)去某一時(shí)刻發(fā)生的事情，沒(méi)有“具體描述這樣的時(shí)刻”，只提供了一個(gè)"for example" 來(lái)泛泛而談，并無(wú)代表性，這是審題上的失誤。另外，“我的夢(mèng)想給予我力量”也并沒(méi)有合乎邏輯地表述出來(lái)，“夢(mèng)想”是什么也沒(méi)有具體表述。從這篇習(xí)作可以看出，它雖有一一定的語(yǔ)言?xún)?yōu)勢(shì)(用詞漂亮，基本無(wú)錯(cuò))，但內(nèi)容處理不當(dāng)，讀起來(lái)抓不住要點(diǎn)。所以，要在內(nèi)容抓準(zhǔn)的前提下，再提高自己的語(yǔ)言修養(yǎng)，才是中考作文得分的法寶。
修改稿
My dream gave me power
In a Junior Three student's life, difficulties and frustrations are unavoidable. At such moments, it was my dream一to get accepted by a key senior high school一that gave me power.
Last Wednesday, I had a cold. After the tests at school, I got back home so tired and exhausted that I didn't want to do my homework. But I thought of my dream which needed my hard work to be realized. It gave me enough power to abandon my excuse and finish my homework perfectly.
h Where there is a will, there is a way. My dream plays an important role in my life and I believe my dream will eventually come true with my strong will.
習(xí)作2
Encouragement gave me power
Encouragement is a kind of magic power that can help me overcome difficulties.
I didn't realize that until last year when I failed in the mid-term exam. I was so upset and frustrated that I refused to talk to anyone. My teacher came to comfort me, "One failure doesn't mean anything. Believe in yourself. I know you can make it." Her encouragement really worked. I got the first place in the final exam.
Thanks to my teacher and her encouragement, I have not only more power but also more confidence now.
點(diǎn)評(píng):這篇習(xí)作相較于上面一-篇， 從內(nèi)容上來(lái)說(shuō)就更為得體，開(kāi)頭結(jié)尾非常清晰，間部分的敘事簡(jiǎn)短明了，考試失利一老師鼓勵(lì)-重拾信心扭轉(zhuǎn)格局，這樣的敘事清時(shí)有力，能讓人讀完很快明白，“鼓勵(lì)” 確實(shí)在此事件中發(fā)揮了極大的作用“給予我大量”。從語(yǔ)言上來(lái)說(shuō)，這篇范文和上面一篇有類(lèi)似之處，會(huì)用frustrated等些比較好的表達(dá)，也會(huì)用定語(yǔ)從句、so .. that結(jié)構(gòu)，不簡(jiǎn)單也不繁冗，多用這樣的表達(dá)和結(jié)構(gòu)，中考作就比較完美了，不需要太多華麗的辭藻，那樣反而累贅。
相關(guān)話題優(yōu)秀范文解析
書(shū)面表達(dá)
Write at least 60 words on the topic ＂My progress＂ （以＂進(jìn)步了＂為題，寫(xiě)一篇不少于60個(gè)詞的短文，標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號(hào)不占格。）
你在生活或?qū)W習(xí)中一定取得過(guò)不少進(jìn)步，比如生活技能的獲得、學(xué)習(xí)方法的掌握、良好習(xí)慣的養(yǎng)成。請(qǐng)選取其中一個(gè)方面，結(jié)合自身經(jīng)歷，談一談你是如何取得這一進(jìn)步的。
注意：短文中不得出現(xiàn)任何人名、校名及其它相關(guān)信息，否則不予評(píng)分。
The following is for reference only （以下表達(dá)僅供參考）
used to do/be…try my best to do…make progress in( doing)…
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
考題解析
2018年上海卷中考作文仍沿襲近幾年中考作文命題的趨勢(shì)，關(guān)注自我成長(zhǎng)，仍然從第一人稱(chēng)＂我＂出發(fā)，考題十分貼近學(xué)生的成長(zhǎng)經(jīng)歷和真實(shí)情感。寫(xiě)作主題突出傳遞正能量，力求學(xué)生發(fā)現(xiàn)生活中積極的一面，考察學(xué)生用英語(yǔ)表達(dá)自己思想的能力。相較過(guò)去，我有什么進(jìn)步？＂My progress＂可以是學(xué)習(xí)生活技能上的，也可以是個(gè)人習(xí)慣上的，學(xué)生需思考自身通過(guò)怎樣的努力實(shí)現(xiàn)了自我的進(jìn)步與成長(zhǎng)。
滿(mǎn)分范文
I used to write badly, especially in English. It affected my performance every composition. I felt annoyed because I didn’t know how to do it.
Several months ago, our English teacher reminded us to pay attention to our English Writing. He prepared a copybook for each student. We were asked to practice every day. I tried my best to copy well. The teacher encouraged me and kept on telling me what to do next. With the help of my English teacher, I made progress in writing.
No pains no gains. I will study hard to achieve greater progress and I believe I will do better and better.
【名師點(diǎn)評(píng)】
本文屬于寫(xiě)人敘事類(lèi)話題類(lèi)作文，話題是＂My progress＂。主要根據(jù)自身的經(jīng)歷，談?wù)勅绾稳〉眠M(jìn)步的，具體內(nèi)容可以圍繞生活技能的獲得、學(xué)習(xí)方法的掌握、良好習(xí)慣的養(yǎng)成方面去寫(xiě)。所給范文寫(xiě)了自己在＂英語(yǔ)書(shū)寫(xiě)＂方面的進(jìn)步，人稱(chēng)是第一人稱(chēng)，講述的是已經(jīng)發(fā)生的事情，所以用一般過(guò)去時(shí)，在文章結(jié)尾作者表達(dá)自己以后會(huì)更加努力，取得更大的進(jìn)步，所以用一般將來(lái)時(shí)。全文采用＂What—How—Conclusion＂的三步寫(xiě)作思路來(lái)完成，條理清楚，結(jié)構(gòu)完整，語(yǔ)言簡(jiǎn)潔明了。
本文第一段作者先引出話題，說(shuō)自己在書(shū)寫(xiě)方面做的不好，但自己不知如何改進(jìn)，＂I felt annoyed because I didn’t know how to do it. ＂為下文自己在書(shū)寫(xiě)方面的進(jìn)步作出鋪墊，思路清晰。第二段主要敘述了自己是如何取得進(jìn)步的過(guò)程。幾個(gè)月前，在英語(yǔ)老師的幫助下，自己取得了很大的進(jìn)步，交代清楚了事情發(fā)生的時(shí)間，人物，經(jīng)過(guò)，結(jié)果符合敘事類(lèi)作文的基本要點(diǎn)。作者采用時(shí)間狀語(yǔ)Several months ago，動(dòng)詞短語(yǔ)pay attention to，介詞短語(yǔ)With the help of 簡(jiǎn)要清楚地表達(dá)了自己進(jìn)步的經(jīng)歷，語(yǔ)言樸實(shí)無(wú)華，卻能闡明事情的經(jīng)過(guò)。第三段主要是升華主題，表達(dá)自己在未來(lái)會(huì)更加努力學(xué)習(xí)，取得更大的進(jìn)步，＂ I will study hard to achieve greater progress and I believe I will do better and better.＂。諺語(yǔ)＂No pains no gains.＂使用恰當(dāng)準(zhǔn)確，為文章在結(jié)尾添彩。
本文的體裁為議論文，根據(jù)所給圖片和提示可知，文章要求介紹圖中的兩個(gè)主人公在做什么？其次談?wù)摦?dāng)你看到人們像這樣扔垃圾時(shí)你怎么做？以及為什么這么做的理由。描述圖片內(nèi)容，男人的行為和女士的說(shuō)話內(nèi)容概括，要注意用現(xiàn)在進(jìn)行時(shí)態(tài)。 敘述當(dāng)你看到這種行為該怎么做，寫(xiě)出自己的建議和做法，并陳述理由。這是文章詳寫(xiě)的部分，引入到環(huán)保的話題中。本文涵蓋了材料中的所有內(nèi)容，行文流暢，合理運(yùn)用恰當(dāng)?shù)倪B接詞，邏輯思路清晰。
相關(guān)話題滿(mǎn)分作文必背
（一）
Write a passage of at least 60 words on the topic I’m not... . any more".(以“我不...為題，寫(xiě)一篇不少于60個(gè)詞的短文，標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號(hào)不占格。)要求:補(bǔ)全作文標(biāo)題。(短 文中不得出現(xiàn)考生的姓名、校名及其他相關(guān)信息，否則不子評(píng)分。)
范文
I'm not a child any more
I used to be dependent and weak. But now I am a Junior Three student. I have change and the most important change for me is that I have learnt to take care of myself.
Last week, my parents were on a business trip. I chose to stay at home alone instead of asking my grandparents for help. I set the alarm o'clock every morning to make sure wouldn't be late for school. I did my homework in time and went to bed after that. All my clothes were kept clean and I even tried to cook on the weekend. When my parents came back, they were glad to know that I could take good care of myself.
I am satisfied with myself too., I'm not a child any more and I have been more careful and independent. I believe I can do better in the future.
（二）
Write a passage in at least 60 words on the topic“I want to say to myself
“我想對(duì)自己說(shuō)”為題， 寫(xiě)一篇不少于60個(gè)字的短文，標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號(hào)不占格。)(注意:短文中不得出現(xiàn)任何人名，校名及其他相關(guān)信息，否則不予評(píng)分。)
Questions for reference (以下問(wèn)題僅供參考)
1. What would you like to say to yourself?
2. Why do you want to say these words to yourself?
3. What do those words or sentences mean to you?
范文
I want to say to myself "Hold on to your dream”
"Hod on to your dream." 1 whisper the encouraging sentence to myself from time to time. I’m firmly convinced that nothing in the world can take the place of one's dream. Amy dream is to become a surgeon, these words can provide me with courage to study harder and energy to fight for it. Thanks to these words, no matter how difficult life is, I never give up my hope. Hold on to your dream" means persistence and determination to me, so would like to say it to myself again and again.
學(xué)網(wǎng)站豎圖.jpg )
