中考英語作文指導：如何寫出游見聞
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相關話題素材儲備和寫作指導 作文能力提升，就來易優(yōu)作文,https://www.euw.net
有關旅游的話題多種多樣，可以是外出野營、游覽風光、出國游學、交流訪問等等，體裁形式也可以各不相同。“出游見聞” 屬于事件描述類，所見所聞都應當以具體事件的措述來呈現(xiàn)，大部分是記敘文，也有部分是夾敘夾議，對所見所聞發(fā)表感想。 在線批改作文，<a href=http://www.zequeka.cn/jiaoshoulanmu/>易優(yōu)名師作文批改</a>
下面就以記敘文為例來詳解如何寫好這類文章。 易優(yōu)作文批改系統(tǒng)，易優(yōu)作文打分、易優(yōu)作文評分評價 <a href=http://www.zequeka.cn/jiaoshoulanmu/>易優(yōu)作文批改</A>
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題目
Write a composition in at least 60 words on "A special trip”. (寫篇題為“次特殊之旅"的短文，字數(shù)不得少于60個詞。)
作為初中生，你肯定已經(jīng)有過旅行的經(jīng)歷。哪次旅行是讓你至今不忘、印象深刻的呢?發(fā)生的什么事情使得這次旅行如此特殊?請具體描述，與大家分享。
這篇全命題文章要求學生能夠寫出一-次旅行，并且要突出其“特殊”之處，那么就不能泛泛而談某次旅行風景秀麗、文化多元等，而是要將這次旅行所發(fā)生的(特殊)事情通過敘事手法具體描述出來，因此可以確定這篇文章是記敘文。體裁確定以后，文章就好寫了，選取旅行中一次特殊經(jīng)歷，交代清楚事情發(fā)生的前因后果，不要忘記文章最后要有感情上的升華。就這篇文章面言，可以寫一寫這次特殊旅行帶給你的經(jīng)驗、教訓、感悟等。
段落結構
根據(jù)題目要求，可以參考以下結構進行寫作:
第一部分The 1st part
開篇點題。
I had a special trip which 1 still remember clearly.
Among all the travelling experiences, the tip to. was the most special one
第二部分The 2nd part
描述次特殊的旅行，語言生動，重點突出其特殊之處。
1 had the trip with .. when .
During the trip to .... some special events happened.
第三部分The 3rd part
這次旅行對你產(chǎn)生的影響等。
From this special tip, 1 realize / learn that
This special trip was unforgettable and meaningful because it not only enabled me to enjoy .. but also taught me ..
核心語匯
places of interest名勝古跡
tourist attraction觀光勝地
scenic spots景點
go sightseeing去觀光
the local / locals當?shù)厝?/span>
local culture and custom當?shù)匚幕土曀?/span>
show respect to 1 respect the local ...尊重當?shù)氐?/span>.....
an exciting and meaningful trip一次有趣又有意義的旅行
landmark building地標建筑
enjoy the natural scenery享受自然風光
appreciate the human landscape欣賞人文風情
impressive and unforgettable印象深刻又令人難忘
參考句型
It is exciting for me/ I am excited to have a trip to ..去 ....旅行我很興奮。
It is ... that makes the trip so special.....使得這次旅行如此特殊。
I learn from the special trip that I should ...從這次特殊的旅行中我學到，我應......
Only after the special trip did I realize that ..這次特殊旅行后我才意識到....
Not until the trip came to an end did I realize ..直到旅行結束我才 意識到...
It was the special trip that taught me to ..正是這次特殊之旅教會我....
習作1
A special trip
One of the most impressive trips for me was the one to the city of Ningbo.
Unlike any other city,I didn't need to worry about the dangerous cars there. Whenever1 was trying to cross the road, all the drivers would politely wait because of the rule of pedestrains first.
Therefore, it was the perfect traffic that made the trip very special and I rally thought the traffic in my city should be improved like this, which would definitely reduce the number of traffic accidents.
點評:
該生審題有誤，內容及體裁上均有不當之處。首先從內容上講，與其說這篇文章的主題是“一 -次特殊之旅”，不如說是介紹“-座特殊之城”，因為文章沒有通過事實來描述某次旅行的特殊之處，而是對寧波這座城市的特點泛泛而談，而且，學生所提到的“交通秩序好”并沒有用有效的語言描述成非常特殊的方面。其次從體裁上講，這篇文章不能算作是記敘文，沒有特定事件的描述，這也是明顯不符合題目要求的。但該生在語言方面的表現(xiàn)還是可取的，比如運用強調句、定語從句等，詞匯方面也較為地道流暢。如果內容的選取上沒有失誤就更好了，可見認真審題的重要性。
修改稿
A special trip
One of the most impressive trips for me was the one to the city of Ningbo.
I remember when I was about to cross the street and looking around for the traffic, a kind driver stopped his bus in front of me and waved his hand to show me that I could go first. How surprised I was! I noticed the passengers on his bus didn't show annoyance but waited for me to cross the street, too. Later, I learned that everyone in Ningbo was a firm supporter of the traffic rule of pedestrians first. Indeed, I didn't need to worry about the dangerous cars in this city.
Therefore, it was the perfect traffic that made the trip very special and I really thought the traffic in my city should be improved like this, which would definitely reduce the number of traffic accidents.
習作2
Last year, my family had a trip to a remote mountain area for its unique natural beauty.It turned out to be very special for me.
When we walked along the narrow road, we came across a little girl who kept staring at our camera, so I offered to take a photo for her. She agreed with great joy, and asked if I could send the photo to her father who worked in a far place. I did what she expected me to do and she thanked me many times. As for me, I felt extremely happy too.
It was this incident that made the trip so special, and I learned that helping others helped me gain happiness too.
點評:
這篇習作對主題的把握是比較到位的，通過去年一次鄉(xiāng)村之旅期間發(fā)生的一件小事，來突出這次旅行的特殊之處:予人玫瑰，手有余香。對該事件的敘述也是清晰流暢，簡潔明了。從語言上看，該生會用turn out、come across等表達，會用強調句、定語從句等，都是有助于提高分數(shù)和檔位的方法和手段，值得大家借鑒。
相關話題范文解析
（一）
為豐富初三學生課余生活，上周末你校組織了一次社會實踐活動。請根據(jù)以下內容提示，用英語寫一篇短文，介紹此次活動，并談談自己的感想。
活動內容：
1．上午游覽人民公園：欣賞美景、歌舞聯(lián)歡、拍照留念；
2．下午參觀市民廣場：觀看圖片展，了解祖國和家鄉(xiāng)70年巨變。
你的感想：
1．師生情深，感謝老師和同學的幫助；
2．倍受鼓舞，決心勤奮學習報效祖國；
3. ……（考生自己發(fā)揮）
要求：
1．詞數(shù)100左右。開頭已給出，不計人總詞數(shù)。
2．所寫內容必須包括內容提示中所提供的信息，并可作適當?shù)陌l(fā)揮。
3．不得出現(xiàn)真實的人名、校名、地名等相關信息。
參考詞匯：市民廣場Civic Square
In order to enrich Junior 3 students' after-school life, our school organized a social practice activity last weekend. All the teachers and students of our grade took part in it. _______________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
【寫作思路】
這是一篇材料作文，根據(jù)材料中的相關信息介紹一下上周末你校所組織的一次社會實踐活動。所提供的材料中列舉了活動內容和你的感想。主要從：1．上午游覽人民公園：欣賞美景、歌舞聯(lián)歡、拍照留念；2．下午參觀市民廣場：觀看圖片展，了解祖國和家鄉(xiāng)70年巨變。以及表達師生情深，感謝老師和同學的幫助；倍受鼓舞，決心勤奮學習報效祖國；（自己在發(fā)揮一些）。這幾個方面去介紹。時態(tài)為一般過去時，人稱為第一人稱。注意作文中必須包含材料上的所有信息，并適當發(fā)揮。寫作時，避免使用漢語式的英語，盡量使用我們熟悉的句子或短語。語法要正確，表達要符合英語習慣，注意時態(tài)、時間狀語的搭配及主謂一致問題。寫作中適當使用連詞，注意上下文聯(lián)系緊密，符合邏輯關系，表達具有條理性。
【參考范文】
In order to enrich Junior 3 students' after-school life, our school organized a social practice activity last weekend. All the teachers and students of our grade took part in it. In the morning, we visited the People’s Park. In the park, we enjoyed the beautiful scenery, danced and sang, and took pictures. I would like to thank my teachers and classmates for their help. In the afternoon, we visited the Citizen’s Square. In People's Square, we watched the photo exhibition and learned about the great changes of our country and hometown in the past 70 years. After seeing these photo exhibitions, I was inspired and determined to study hard to serve my country.
【名師點評】
【高分句型一】
I would like to thank my teachers and classmates for their help. 我要感謝我的老師和同學們的幫助。該句話用到了would like to do sth. 豐富了語言。
【高分句型二】
In People's Square, we watched the photo exhibition and learned about the great changes of our country and hometown in the past 70 years. 在人民廣場，我們看了70年來的攝影展，了解了祖國和家鄉(xiāng)的巨大變化。該句話的語言簡練，層次分明，語意明確，用簡單的句子表達了豐富的內涵。使人讀起來朗朗上口。
相關話題滿分作文必背
（一）
近幾年，旅游已經(jīng)成為一項全民活動。初中生們旅游的機會也有很多，因此，旅游也是初中生們津津樂道的話題。
你的美國朋友Tom非常喜歡中國文化，去年暑假你和他一起從桂林出發(fā)去北京旅游了幾天，你們參觀了一些著名景點，還品嘗了一些有名的小吃，請把你們的旅游經(jīng)歷寫成一篇不少于80詞的短文。
參考范文：
A Trip to Beijing My American friend Tom and I went to Beijing by plane last summer. On the first day，we visited the Palace Museum and Tian'anmen Square. The next day，we climbed the Great Wall. We took lots of photos. Although we felt tired，it was a fantastic experience. The third day we relaxed. Then we had the Beijing roast duck for lunch. I think it is the most delicious food in the world. Tom is interested in Chinese culture，so we drank tea and saw Beijing Opera in Lao She Teahouse in the evening. Finally，we did some shopping and flew back to Guilin. The trip to Beijing was short，but it was wonderful. Tom said that he would never forget it.
（二）
假如你參加了學校組織的“走近鄉(xiāng)村”寒假社會實踐活動。請根據(jù)要求，向某英語網(wǎng)站投稿，分享活動經(jīng)歷。
要求：1.80~120詞，可適當發(fā)揮，開頭已給出，不計入總詞數(shù)；
2. 文中不能出現(xiàn)自己的姓名和所在學校的名稱。
參考信息：
Have you ever got close to the countryside and had a special experience? Let me share mine!
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
【寫作思路】
本文屬于一篇圖表作文，根據(jù)表格提供的信息來介紹“走近鄉(xiāng)村”寒假社會實踐活動的經(jīng)歷。人稱為第一人稱，時態(tài)主要為一般過去時。動筆前先要注意認真閱讀材料確定寫作內容；文章必須包括要點中所給的信息，既要寫活動的過程，又要總結活動感受與收獲。并補充兩條個人的觀點。表達要符合英語習慣，注意時態(tài)、時間狀語的搭配及主謂一致問題。寫作中適當使用連詞，注意上下文聯(lián)系緊密，符合邏輯關系，表達具有條理性。多種句式交叉使用來豐富文章的文采。高分句型：1.We experienced the life in the countryside, learned something that we couldn’t get from books before. 我們經(jīng)歷了農(nóng)村的生活，學到了一些我們以前從書中得不到的東西。that we couldn’t get from books before.是定語從句，修飾不定代詞something。2. We really hope we’ll have another activity like that this winter vacation! 我們真的希望今年寒假還能有這樣的活動！hope后面是省略that的賓語從句。
【參考范文】
Have you ever got close to the countryside and had a special experience? Let me share mine.
During the winter vacation my classmates and I joined in the school activity “Get close to the countryside”. We live in the farmers’ homes. Their great living conditions surprised us a lot. Do you know where vegetables come from? We got the answer when working with the farmers. Besides, we learned about other plants and some farm animals. How interesting!
We experienced the life in the countryside, learned something that we couldn’t get from books before, and felt the wonderful changes of the countryside. We realized how hard the farmers worked and decided to save food. We were happy to see the farmers’ life was getting better and better.
We really hope we’ll have another activity like that this winter vacation!
