Last Sunday was my 12th birthday, and I had a wonderful birthday party at home. I invited five of my best friends—Lucy, Tom, Lily, Mike and Emma. I waited for them eagerly the whole morning. 找中小學(xué)生語文題庫，就搜微信“易優(yōu)閱讀寶”
Mom helped me prepare for the party. We blew up colorful balloons and hung them on the walls. We also put a big birthday cake on the dining table—the cake was shaped like a unicorn, with pink cream and rainbow sprinkles. Mom made many snacks, like chicken wings, fruit salad and chocolate cookies. I even helped her put candles on the cake—there were 12 candles, one for each year. 蘇州小學(xué)生語文培訓(xùn)，（TEl:181-1815-9898）蘇州易優(yōu)閱讀寫作同步提升
At 2 p.m., my friends arrived. They brought me beautiful gifts: Lucy gave me a hand-painted notebook, Tom brought a model plane, Lily made a small doll for me, Mike gave me a storybook, and Emma brought a box of colored pencils. I said “thank you” to each of them and put the gifts on my bed.
蘇州吳中區(qū)小學(xué)生語文提優(yōu)，蘇州名校沖刺培訓(xùn)，（Tel:181-1815-9898）20余年輔導(dǎo)經(jīng)驗(yàn)，每年都有數(shù)十個成功案例。
Then we played games. First, we played “Pin the Tail on the Donkey”—Tom spun around so fast that he pinned the tail on the wall, making everyone laugh. Then we played “Musical Chairs”—we danced to music, and when the music stopped, we sat down quickly. Lily won the game, and I gave her a small candy as a prize. 易優(yōu)語文培訓(xùn)，（TEL:181-181-5-9898）,蘇州中小學(xué)生閱讀寫作同步提升
After games, we ate the birthday cake. Everyone sang “Happy Birthday” to me, and I made a wish before blowing out the candles. The cake was delicious, and we ate all the snacks. When my friends left at 6 p.m., I felt a little sad but very happy. This birthday party was the best one I’ve ever had.
作文點(diǎn)評：
標(biāo)題明確 “生日派對” 及場景，主題突出。內(nèi)容按 “派對準(zhǔn)備 — 朋友到來送禮物 — 玩游戲 — 吃蛋糕 — 結(jié)束” 的順序?qū)?，邏輯清晰，“Then, After games” 等過渡詞自然。細(xì)節(jié)如 “獨(dú)角獸蛋糕”“‘Pin the Tail on the Donkey’游戲”“朋友的禮物” 充滿童趣，還原生日派對熱鬧場景。情感上，“eagerly”“happy”“sad” 等詞細(xì)膩表達(dá)情緒變化，真實(shí)可感。缺點(diǎn)是 “許愿” 可補(bǔ)充愿望方向，避免籠統(tǒng)。改進(jìn)建議：在吹蠟燭段落加 “我的愿望是下次生日還能和這些好朋友一起過”，讓情感更具體。（180 字）
