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Summer holiday is the longest holiday of the year, and this year I had an exciting adventure—camping in the mountains with my family. Dad said it would be a great experience, and he was right. 蘇州易優(yōu)語(yǔ)文閱讀寫(xiě)作培訓(xùn)，家長(zhǎng)信賴(lài)，學(xué)生喜歡。 http://www.zequeka.cn

We drove to the mountain campsite on a Saturday morning. The drive took two hours, and along the way, we saw green trees and small rivers. When we arrived, Dad started setting up the tent. I wanted to help, so he taught me how to fix the tent poles. At first, I made a mistake and broke one pole (but Dad had a spare), and finally we set up the tent together.

蘇州吳中區(qū)小學(xué)生作文培訓(xùn)，就來(lái)易優(yōu)悅讀

In the afternoon, we went hiking. The mountain path was a little steep, but we held hands and walked slowly. We saw colorful birds and small squirrels; Mom even took a photo of a butterfly with orange wings. At the top of the hill, we could see the whole campsite—it looked like a small village with many colorful tents. We sat down and ate the sandwiches Mom prepared; the wind was cool and the air smelled fresh. 蘇州易優(yōu)語(yǔ)文培訓(xùn)，中小學(xué)閱讀寫(xiě)作同步提升 http://www.zequeka.cn/miniform.html

At night, we made a campfire. Dad lit the fire, and we sat around it. He told us stories about his childhood camping trips, and I shared my school stories. We also roasted marshmallows—they were sweet and soft. When I looked up, I saw many stars in the sky—they were brighter than the stars in the city. 蘇州吳中區(qū)小學(xué)生作文培訓(xùn)，就來(lái)易優(yōu)悅讀

This camping adventure was the best part of my summer holiday. I learned to set up a tent and saw beautiful mountain views. I hope we can go camping again next summer.

作文點(diǎn)評(píng)：
標(biāo)題 “Summer Holiday Adventure” 突出 “冒險(xiǎn)” 屬性，吸引讀者。內(nèi)容按 “出發(fā) — 搭帳篷 — 徒步 — 夜晚篝火 — 總結(jié)” 的時(shí)間順序?qū)?，結(jié)構(gòu)完整，過(guò)渡自然。細(xì)節(jié)如 “搭帳篷出錯(cuò)”“山頂看營(yíng)地”“烤棉花糖” 充滿(mǎn)冒險(xiǎn)趣味，體現(xiàn)露營(yíng)特色。情感上，通過(guò) “exciting”“best part” 表達(dá)對(duì)假期的喜愛(ài)，感染力強(qiáng)。缺點(diǎn)是 “徒步” 部分可加更多互動(dòng)，如 “幫媽媽撿漂亮石頭”。改進(jìn)建議：在徒步段落加 “我撿了一塊有花紋的石頭，送給妹妹當(dāng)禮物，她開(kāi)心地放進(jìn)了口袋”，豐富細(xì)節(jié)。（181 字）