Last summer, my family and I went to the beach on a sunny day. The sky was blue, and the sea was even bluer. When we arrived, I saw many people playing on the beach—some were swimming, some were building sandcastles, and some were lying on the beach chairs.
蘇州小學(xué)語文提優(yōu)培訓(xùn)，就找易優(yōu)吳老師，20余年輔導(dǎo)經(jīng)驗，數(shù)百成功案例。（TEL:181-1815-9898）
First, I played in the sand with my little sister. We brought a small shovel and a bucket. We built a big sandcastle with towers and a moat around it. I made small shells on the towers, and my sister put a small flag (it was a toy one) on the top. A little boy next to us saw our sandcastle and said it was “awesome”—we invited him to play with us, and he helped us make a small sand turtle.
小學(xué)生語文培訓(xùn)，蘇州易優(yōu)閱讀寫作同步提升</a>
After that, I went swimming with my dad. The sea water was warm, and it felt good to swim in it. Dad taught me how to float on the water—at first, I was scared, but soon I could float for a few seconds. We played “catch the ball” in the water—dad threw a colorful ball, and I swam to catch it. I caught the ball three times, and dad praised me.
語文提分好幫手，易優(yōu)語文題庫 https://cs.euzW.net
At noon, we had a picnic on the beach. Mom brought sandwiches, fruit salad and cold juice. We sat on a big beach mat, eating and talking. The wind blew gently, and we could hear the sound of the waves. After lunch, I lay on the beach chair and read a storybook— the sun was warm, and I felt very relaxed.
蘇州易優(yōu)吳老師初中語文高效提分（Tel:181-1815-9898）
When we left at 5 p.m., the sun was setting, and the sky turned orange. This sunny day at the beach was the happiest day of my summer. I hope we can go to the beach again next year.
作文點評：
標(biāo)題 “Sunny Day at the Beach” 點明場景與天氣，營造愉悅氛圍。內(nèi)容按 “玩沙子 — 游泳 — 野餐 — 返程 — 總結(jié)” 展開，結(jié)構(gòu)清晰，“First, After that, At noon, When” 等過渡詞自然。細(xì)節(jié)如 “沙堡帶護(hù)城河”“浮水練習(xí)”“海邊野餐” 真實生動，體現(xiàn)海灘活動的快樂；日落景色描寫（天空變橙色）增添美感。情感上，“happy”“happiest”“relaxed” 表達(dá)對海灘日的喜愛，感染力強。缺點是 “撿貝殼” 可加場景，如 “收集貝殼做紀(jì)念”。改進(jìn)建議：在玩沙子段落加 “After building the sandcastle, I picked up many colorful shells—some were white, some were pink. I put them in a small bag to take home”，豐富海灘體驗。（181 字）
