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A Wonderful Weekend Trip to the Park


來源:蘇州易優(yōu)語(yǔ)文閱讀寫作培訓(xùn)   糾錯(cuò)
2025-10-16

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Last Saturday, my family and I went to Green Lake Park for a trip. The weather was sunny with a light breeze, which was perfect for outdoor activities. I was so excited that I packed my favorite snack—chocolate cookies—before dawn. 蘇州易優(yōu)吳老師中考語(yǔ)文提分班(TEL:181-1815-9898)有趣、有用、提分快

When we arrived at 9 a.m., the park was already lively. First, we walked along the lake. The water was clear, and I saw small fish swimming around. Mom took many photos of me with the pink lotus flowers by the lake; I smiled so big that my eyes narrowed.

蘇州中考語(yǔ)文提分,就找易優(yōu)吳老師,針對(duì)性強(qiáng),提分就是快(TEL:181-1815-9898)。

After that, we had a picnic on the grass. Dad spread a blue picnic mat, and Mom took out sandwiches, fruit salad and juice. My little brother and I raced to pick dandelions while waiting for food. Blowing the white fluff into the air felt like sending little wishes. 找中小學(xué)生語(yǔ)文題庫(kù),就搜微信“易優(yōu)閱讀寶”

In the afternoon, we rented a family bike. Dad sat in front, Mom in the middle, and my brother and I sat at the back. We rode slowly through the pine forest, and the air smelled like pine needles. We even saw a little squirrel jumping from tree to tree.

小學(xué)生語(yǔ)文培訓(xùn),蘇州易優(yōu)閱讀寫作同步提升</a>

When we left at 5 p.m., I felt a little tired but very happy. This weekend trip to the park was wonderful. I hope we can have another trip like this soon.

作文點(diǎn)評(píng):
標(biāo)題明確 trip 的時(shí)間和地點(diǎn),針對(duì)性強(qiáng)。內(nèi)容按 “出發(fā) — 湖邊散步 — 野餐 — 騎家庭自行車 — 返程” 的時(shí)間順序?qū)懀壿嬊逦?,過渡自然。細(xì)節(jié)描寫豐富,如 “蒲公英絨毛”“松針氣味” 讓場(chǎng)景鮮活。情感上,通過 “興奮”“開心” 直接表達(dá)心情,真實(shí)可感。缺點(diǎn)是結(jié)尾稍顯倉(cāng)促,未進(jìn)一步升華感受。改進(jìn)建議:結(jié)尾可加 “這次 trip 讓我明白,簡(jiǎn)單的家庭時(shí)光就是最好的幸?!?,深化主題。(178 字)


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